My Set List : A Confession List

In 2010, I was a new blogger - Set List in May and Puppy Love in November.  I had no online advice to follow.  I had no pro blogger words of wisdom.  I only had me.  I relied on my passion for each blog niche and a world of good luck (hoped for by me).  I created a journey that was rocky from the start but strived to smooth out as time has gone on.  Today, my journey is still rocky.

In previous posts, my story about Set List is clear.  However, there are deeper emotions that linger from a post in my first month as a blogger.

When I launched Set List with my first post and my first advertisement addition, I wrongfully assumed that traffic will come...in a substantial amount...Google AdSense will be made...and my good luck will be proven.

In my first month on Set List, I received some traffic, some comment attraction, some pennies, a dim horizon of good luck.  I kept going.  More traffic will come...in a larger amount...pennies to dollars...and a brighter horizon of good luck.

Months went by...years went by...100+ traffic/month...$.01 penny every so often (a.k.a. months)...the sun has set on my horizon.

Four years later to the month, I treat Set List as a new blog with a new journey that will once more be rocky and hoped to smooth out over time.  I feel like a new blogger in need of online advice and pro blogger words of wisdom.  Yet the words of advice I come across are no longer new.  I discovered such wisdom as I went along with my blog.  I feel now a need to share a confession list...a list far from Set List.

1) Frustrated
2) Exhausted
3) Anxious
4) Scared straight
5) Still frustrated

The age old question is "What does success mean for you?"  This question applies to all.  In the blogosphere, success is measured in various ways.  Some feel successful when sharing insightful posts and engaging with readers.  Some feel successful when gaining traffic by the thousands per month.  Some feel successful when earning a six-figure income annually.

Where am I?  My idea of success falls under all three measurements. 

I love to post on Set List because my passion for music and my passion for writing and sharing thoughts is so strong that words cannot describe.  When I publish every post, I hope to tap into a reader's interest and start a chat through comments or even emails.  I write for me and I write even more for readers. 

When I publish every post, I hope for my words to be unique enough to attract attention from readers and passersby.  When I do attract attention, I hope for word of mouth from readers and passersby.  I hope for my words to stand out in such a way that readers, passersby, and all those following word of mouth will come in greater waves well beyond 100 per month.  In this way, I will feel that what I write will have proven meaning and worth.  I think every writer hopes for their work, whether online or offline, to have defined meaning and worth in ways special to them.

My blog is my career.  I may not work 40 hours a week in a fluorescent-lit office.  I may not work overtime on a project brought forth by a boss at the last minute.  I work for myself.  My hours vary.  A traditional 9-5 receives a guaranteed payday every week or every two weeks.  Overtime work receives overtime pay.  My blog, as my career, doesn't come with a guaranteed salary or pay.  Yet do I still want an income?  Yes!  Do I want six figures?  A lovely thought, but I desire to reach my first $100 and go from there.  My ideal annual income from my blog career?  In perfectly stated words, "I have expensive taste.  Unfortunately, I don't have the funds to match." - Amy Lynn Andrews (http://amylynnandrews.com) 

1) Frustrated
Why - I feel alone when I blog.  I feel as though I am writing to no one, by the few or by the thousand.  I feel that my words on a niche I am so passionate about go unheard or unwanted.  Viewers don't connect with my posts the way I find in more successful sites. 

2) Exhausted
Why -  I write every day with profound eagerness.  Every day brings a new genre to post about.  Every day brings in a new angle to post about.  Every day brings in a new YouTube video for pure enjoyment.  Every day, every day, every day.  And nothing.

3) Anxious
Why - My blog as a career with an income.  If my words don't bring in traffic, engaged or passing interest, my hope for the ultimate revenue generator being advertisement clicks is shot.  I survive because of my mom.  However, my expensive taste is just a few blocks down in what I so dearly want to be my first apartment.  I just don't have the funds.

4) Scared straight
Why - I am in my early 30s with a resume that really won't get past an employer.  My undergraduate degree is long gone.  My graduate degree failed me in finding a job within my first year out.  Random jobs go without response.  My last interview was at least four years ago, before I created Set List.  If my blog cannot stand to be my career, what will I do? 

5) Still frustrated
Why - For all the reasons above.

This is my Set List confession, filled with emotions lingering from May 2010 to present.  If this post were to be configured into lyrics, my confession would be on a set list (genre unknown).